hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
