Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
