I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
