I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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