I heard we made out
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
