did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
