You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just pee around me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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