Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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