Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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