i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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