p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
