Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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