one two three fourrrrnication!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize