it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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