I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
