Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
