I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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