M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
