dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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