how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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