Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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