Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
