Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
