I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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