I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
