i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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