remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
