this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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