The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
