I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
