She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
