The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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