I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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