I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
