there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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