it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
