Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
