Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
