Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
