the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize