im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
