Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
