a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i've created a new STD.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
