I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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