Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
how can u be prego again
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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