For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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