Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
