why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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