Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
