You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
