i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
