You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
