Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
