So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
