Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The air taste purple.
Randomize
