Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
