i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I love you. Go after that dick
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
