Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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