This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
When are your genitals available?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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