I love black thongs
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
