You smell like stripper and shame
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize